he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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