I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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