Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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