I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
