we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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