I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
