now i know why i became what i already was.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
