what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
