She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize