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God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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