First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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