it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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