I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
