and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize