did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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