im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
50% drunk capacity currently
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize