what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
