ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
