do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
