R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
