I bet he comes in French.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
