meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
