I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
