but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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