I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
