somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
