There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
