Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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