I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
