i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
