So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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