He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
