You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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