So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
