he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there was a trapeze. enough said
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
