yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
