It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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