So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Pants are for mortals
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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