cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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