he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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