Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
