The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
