R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize