Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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