I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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