but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Less talking, more tequila
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
