Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
3 2 1 whiskey
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
