i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
