Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
