I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
