MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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