I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
