It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
