I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
