forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
