Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
