is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
