Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
