Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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