Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
