dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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