.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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