dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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