I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
